Easter Monday News

Hello Again,
  It was a lovely Easter day here. We also had a lovely dinner with Mary & Randy, Melissa and her boyfriend Mike (we really like him!), and Paul. Mom was beautiful in a new, deep turquoise silky tank top with matching sort-of-sheer jacket. It had a circle ruffle at the elbow. She wore her pearls too. I am kicking myself because I did not take a picture. She looked so pretty. I will try to have her wear that again soon, and take a pic then.

I have told this story to some of you, and some of you were first-hand witnesses. But here it goes again. Mary had made a gorgeous layered strawberry shortcake trifle dessert in a footed glass bowl. It was as tasty as you could imagine. So, Gram and I were sharing a serving of this. When it was gone, I decided I would like a bit more, so I said, "Gram says she would like more", as I passed my bowl back to Mary. There was somewhat of a clamor around the table as my statement was vociferously refuted by people who are supposed to love me. I then lied further, saying that Gram may have whispered this to me, or communicated by pointing to the dessert, and that is why no one but me heard her.
Suddenly, she clearly piped up, "Gram DOES NOT want more dessert!"

She has not spoken a complete sentence for a long time, nor has her speech been very intelligible. It was so much fun to know that she was listening then, and not about to let me get away with bending the truth.

On another note, I must say again that Gram continues to lose interest in eating. Today, for example, she could only eat half of her oatmeal, when a week and a half ago, she would eat the whole serving. Last night, she also began to show signs of having forgotten how to use a straw, after having been able to use one at Easter dinner. We struggled for a bit, then just went to a transparent glass. That way, I could see what she was getting related to the angle at which I held the glass. I have made her choke a few times, and the straws really helped us avoid that. Maybe this skill will come back to her; we will just have to see.
Several hours later, after I wrote this whole post>>>.....wow....how quickly things can change. Mom was able to get up from bed, use the commode, get in wheelchair, and get to the table. She ate some of Randy's luscious home-made chicken noodle soup (yes, even the noodles are home-made), drank a whole Ensure, 8 oz water, 8 oz milk,
and had an ice cream cup for dessert. She used the straw very well! Just wanted to let you know.
We need to be aware of the fact that if Mom's ability to take in nutrition and fluids continues to reduce, she could be leaving us this spring. I have heard some people say that without nutrition, a person could live for two weeks. Without water, maybe several days. We can give ice chips and swab Mom's mouth, though, if she can no longer drink, but another issue is swallowing. Niki says that some people forget to swallow, and then, giving fluids will cause choking. So far Mom can swallow, if we can get the fluids past her clenched teeth. Maybe she has decided that she is ready to be finished with all this, and she is taking advantage of something that she has control of.

I will try to get a weight on Gram tomorrow, if her feet do not hurt too much to stand on the scale.

Over the weekend, when we would get her to her feet to transfer, Mom would cry out that her feet hurt. She had difficulty taking small steps to turn herself around and sit in the wheelchair. It was obviously quite painful. We looked at her feet last night, and could not see anything. Today, however, both feet are swollen, and there are some red hot spots here and there. We would put a cold pack on them, but cold is very aversive for Mom. She probably would not be able to tolerate that. So we are making sure that her feet are elevated quite a bit of the time. Niki is coming in the morning to check this out.

Another interesting thing: we have talked about the fact that Gram has been seeing various people: the little boy with red hair, John, Edward, J.J., and 'the beautiful woman'. This week, for three days in a row, she asked me, 'Who is that tall gentleman?". Since I was only aware of the two of us there. I asked what he looked like, what color hair he had. She was able to say one time that he had dark hair, but that was it for describing this mystery man. I like to think it may have been Dad, checking in on her. Others may think that her brain is hallucinating. Just putting it out there for your consideration.

This experience of being with Mom is really quite rich in learning patience, learning how to accept new limitations, confusions, fatigue, and  silly stuff like frustration with equipment.
There have been hilarious times, cozy times, times that make your heart swell.( ie: when Mom so often says, "Thank you so much" for the smallest thing. She also takes our hands and looks into our eyes, with some confusion in hers. We give her our name, and the confusion leaves her face, and she smiles and squeezes our hands.

Hospice continues to be so good to us. On Saturday, Mary, one of their nurses, volunteered to come sit with Mom so I could go out to lunch with Lindsay and her mom. We went to a newer place, called 'Kebobs'; the food was wonderful, and reasonably priced. After that, we went down to 'boutique row', the converted railroad station on 8th street. We wandered in and out of all the shops. In one of them, they were having a drawing to celebrate the fact that they now carry Vera Bradley bags. We all put our names in, and they called me today. I won the grand prize, an $88 tote that could be a carry-on! I have never had a bag that cost more than $20, I think. Mostly because I love searching for designer bags at Goodwill, where they are about $3. (...the thrill of the hunt.....) But this was fun, too! Mary got off early today, came to sit with Mom so I could go pick it up. It is very pretty, with about a dozen handy pockets. I may take it on the plane to Indiana when I go to Alex's graduation.

OK, should get this posted and get going.
Love to all!
Keep up the good work, Aunt Mary!
Annie and Gramma Trish the Dish